Crazy? Who, me?

Trusting the unknown.

The Feeling is now familiar, almost comforting…Not knowing what’s next (or having a rough idea as in a Permaculture internship, home to California for the holidays, then an opportunity in SE Asia, perhaps grad school, or perhaps back to California for a while…we’ll see how it all flows…)

but knowing what is “right now” is coming to a close.  A dear Seoul Sister put it perfectly: listening to the heart and adapting accordingly.

It’s a bit of a natural high. With a bit of anxiety, second guessing, and resisting giving in to fear. And the hardest part is this Waiting-for-it-to-actually-begin phase. (for you are just joining me and would like the backstory leading up to this leg of the journey, check out Beach Girl Abroad @ Blogspot)

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Selling the car, giving away heaps of clothing and books, catching up with everyone before going, and I’m down to a backpack and some essentials (NOT taking 2 huge suitcases this time–I’ve learned over the past two and a half years that less is truly more–aparigraha (that’s non-hoarding in yoga)…

Am I crazy? Maybe a little. Am I trusting God and the universe? Absolutely. Am I grateful? Yes yes and yes. Thank you, yes, and more please. Keep it coming.

Would love to hear about how you “let go” and trusted things to work out…please share in the “comment” form below!

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7 thoughts on “Crazy? Who, me?

  1. I perosnally wish you more than well. I think you’ve been curious since I knew you in high school. It was always my favorite quality of yours, and it was really what drew us together in terms of conversation. I think the fact that you’re going into this with all of these larger issues (i.e. sustainabilitiy, permaculture, and The Unknown) is going to give you the potential to come out on the other side with an unending source of abundance.
    Good luck Elysa. The only advice about acceptance or ”letting go” i can give you (somethign I think of daily) is that it really is only accessible at the most difficult parts of your journey. That is not a common moment for everybody, in fact, it won’t resemble any textbook situation, besides the fact that the fight or flight response will have kicked in, and there will be nowhere to run, and nothing to fight but yourself.
    And it’s then, when things are literally at their worst, you can close your eyes if you want to, or you can keep them open (I recommend the latter, as it will enhance the beauty of everything) you decide, as though it were an ice cream flavor you were craving, that you love this Earth and that ”whatever happens to me, I accept it.” Untense all the muscles in your body (if you have that luxury and aren’t on a mountain cliff, in that case, try and use your center for stability without trying to hard) and accept death, accept the life before you, and accept the life that is to come and decide that you’d like to have three large scoops of no fear, love, compassion, and an undying will to move forward, and never step back.

    • Ahhh Todd Schultz! So good to hear from you. We did have some deep conversations sitting in the hallway of Calabasas High. What eloquent words you chose to write in response to my post…I’m touched! I will take a few scoops of no fear, love, and compassion, please, with a side of neverending abundance 😉 You’re so right about the accessibility only being available at the hardest points! It has been, looking back, at my darkest moments, when the most growth happened, when I’ve learned the most, when those angels start appearing. Oftentimes it’s in those moments I feel weak, overly anxious, sympathetic nervous system in high gear… I actually ask for help and stop feigning perfection…whether it be from another human, God, the universe, the self-help book section at the library 😉 If it wasn’t for the dark moments, a lot of good would never have happened…that person I happened to meet, the celebration attended, etc…never would have experienced the goodness without surrendering to the unknown preceding it. And looking back, so happy for pulling through and surrendering to the unknown instead of giving up and going home. Surrender so different than giving up. Todd! Thanks for writing, keep in touch!!! ~Elisa

      • That was beautiful Elisa. you are a very good hearted person. And I think you deserve abundance. Remember, you only get what you give. Trust yourself, and don’t lie to anyone. The universe has it’s ways.

    • Todd…guess I spoke too soon…home is where the heart is…decided to come home as of late. And definitely, for many reasons, see it as a step forwards, not back 😉 Time to give to the roots, and never lie…I’ve realized, too the universe has it’s ways, oh yes it does…like learning the same lesson so many times until you FINALLY “get it”.

  2. Pingback: $436.50 Flight Credit to… | Beach Girl Abroad

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