Embracing the Unknown

paia, maui message from ??
Being okay with the unknown.
Maybe even embracing the unknown.
“when you are in tune with the unknown, 
the known is peaceful” 
~yogi tea bag
Finding it hard to sit right now with the unknown…
What’s the next step…staying here, setting roots somewhere, or pursuing the next adventure?
Watching my thoughts change day to day, moment to moment.
Seeing friends move on, enter and leave relationships, jobs, places, spaces.
Can’t help but compare and begin re-evaluating my own path.
The anxiety can wear you out if you attach yourself to much to prakriti.
To the point where all that sounds good is a hot bath
(with yummy essential oils of clove and lemon peel 🙂
and a novel on a Saturday night.
(guilty).
The numerous potential “plans”: 
 
to let it all go and take a trip around the globe,
or be rational and stick with what I’ve got for a while, 
enjoying my job and friends.
or pursue a grad degree,
or study holistic nutrition or further yoga studies,
 or teach English again in a foreign land,
or hippie out on an organic farm,
or hippie out as a agriculture volunteer at Kalani on the Big Island
or hippie out at Sanctuary Thailand again (this time longer term 🙂
or 
simply go home (because that’s where the heart is) and work for my old boss.
Oh and guess what?  Everyone has their feedback and opinion of what you should do.
But, again, guess what?
Only you have the final say in what you ultimately do.
Comfort versus Adventure:  
Why no inbetween?  Is there such thing?  And why so hard to be content where you are?
I miss everywhere I’ve been.  I miss my friends, my various jobs, the accents, the thrill of unexplored territory as well as the safe comfort of home in California.
I miss simple things like the bus routes I took and the street food smells of Seoul.
And of course I miss Trader Joe’s, hugs from my Mom and Dad, 
and the 10,000th walk down Oxnard Shores Beach.  
But would I go back in time, and choose not to leave any of those places?
The answer is “no”.  Who I am today is a result of the decisions to step outside my own comfort zone.  To pursue change is to pursue growth.  
Being able to let go and detach from the past, future, ideas, and what once was/what could be;
even more powerful.  
Now, one thought crosses my mind, would I actually grow more if I stayed for once?
A consideration, but I refuse to attach myself to it.    
Trying to cultivate equanimity (as the 10 day vipassana meditation teacher explained), and rising above the prakriti (yoga language for “change”, the only constant), to watch myself from my own purusha (yoga language for true Self).  Without judgement.  Without getting sucked in.  With simply the observation of the fluctuations of my own mind.  The time will come when it will settle on where exactly to settle.  Or maybe my own purusha is a free little spirit.
Now this is yoga.
Gotta dig that yogic philosophy.
Time for a yin practice before bed…no more yogic philosophy nature walk inspired ramblings…
Sitting and sleeping in the comfort of the unknown.  And the peace of the known.
love and at peace for today…
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